They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
