just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
