He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
