If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
