To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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