My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
