hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
