He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You ate ashes out of my bong
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
