the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
