Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
