TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
