We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
