is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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