chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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