My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
