ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
