sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
