so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
