yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
