im about as happy as oj after his trial
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
