I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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