Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
