We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
