sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
