He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
