What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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