I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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