I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
