my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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