she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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