yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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