Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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