Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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