My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Randomize
