I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
