i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
