Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just high enough for therapy.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
