So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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