we have officially lost it.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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