oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
