hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
