are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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