so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
