yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
