We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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