who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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