I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
