ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
