My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
