And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
