Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
