That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
