i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There are leaves in my underwear?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
