I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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