So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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