the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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