It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
