Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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