Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
