I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize