I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
