I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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