i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
