I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
